I have often expressed that mentally preparing oneself for what may come is one of the hardest ways to prepare.  In all honesty, how does one truly mentally prepare for the end of the world, for Armageddon, for turning away people in need, for complete and utter despair? I thought I could train myself to be stronger — to somehow become fearless and bury my feelings deep within to prepare for a post-TEOTWAWKI scenario. I am trying to accept what I may see in a shtf scenario and harden myself to the belief that it’s all about survival and nothing else… Well, all I can say to that is easier said than done!

A blog that I read recently put my feelings and struggles into perspective:

This year has been rough for me.

Thus far, God has been doing a new work in me… I can’t pin point one specific area but I feel Him stretching me. Growing pains… a lot of : Adjustments. Seeking. Discovering. Letting go. Accepting. Pondering. Brokenness. Wholeness. Restoration. Healing.

A whole lot of a whole lot.

I don’t know what other word(s) would describe how I feel other than alone and lost.

Change is Inevitable, Progress is Optional

We are all transforming and changing. Sometimes change can be painful and test your resolve. There may be times when we are overwhelmed with trying to deal with the changing future. In this case, I was exhausted from SHTF situations. Day and night I studied them and found ways to prepare for them, but failed to mentally prepare myself. Needless to say, I was weary even before the SHTF! There were times when I felt under the gun and overwhelmed and this caused stress –  a lot of stress. I have had so many tell me to let go, to let the future takes it’s course. To me, letting go would mean that I was never in control in the first place and would have to stop trying to be. Letting go would mean that I have to let my guard down.

I did not want to admit that the unknown future was deeply affecting me. I tried to hide that aspect because, after all, if I could not handle change now, how could I handle situations that we are prepping for (TEOTWAWKI, bugging out, necessary defense, etc.)? But, as much as I wanted that dull throbbing feeling to go away, it did not. The fear of what we are preparing for, the need for more preparations and skills all came flooding on top of me and  I couldn’t escape it. I finally hit rock bottom. I allowed the mental exhaustion and fear to take over. For days, I sat stunned, not wanting to move or do anything. I couldn’t get myself out of this fog that had temporarily consumed me. I didn’t know what to do to make myself feel better.

Snap Out of It

I ended up reading a previous article I had written about mental preparedness. In the article, I had written, “When playing stories out in one’s head, the mind does not know if the story is real or not real, it just plays the story out as it unfolds.”

In my mind, I had been in an emergency situation –  a true shtf emergency. I allowed my mind to create a story where I felt the stress, indecisiveness, and fear that many would feel if they were in fact in an emergency situation.  After reading this, I began to come out of my doomer fatigue. I finally looked around and noticed my environment was in the same disparage as my soul. My house was cluttered and messy, the laundry had piled up, closets were unorganized. It was time to pick myself up and get my life going again.

Reading some words helped me snap out of it. But it is different each time I have had doomer fatigue. There are times when I had to stop writing on Ready Nutrition, and studying about emergency preparedness. I had to allow myself a break in order to absorb the information and allow my emotions to subside. I also realized that it’s important to break away from emergency planning, to do more relaxing activities like reading or exercise more to get myself out of that mindset. There are other times where I can will myself out of it.  Above all, I have to be patient and know that I will come out of it. While in the “doom cloud” I keep in mind that I am feeling these emotions for a reason and that I will be better for it in the end. Having doomer fatigue helped me stretch my resolve and become stronger.

Stop Beating Yourself Up!

We are so hard on ourselves. Even when we are doing our best, we become are our worst critic. Our mental conversations can either help propel us or take us down to another level of negativity. Learning to be content with what you are doing and being present in your own life is is essential to maintaining a positive mindset.

I learn something new each time I have doomer fatigue. First and foremost, I have learned that we all have the survivalist attitude, but there are times when doomer fatigue takes over and we get down on ourselves – just as if we were in the SHTF situation itself.  I have also learned that I need to be an advocate for being in the present moment in order to enjoy the love and the gifts that are surrounding me right now.  After all, these are the moments that we are going to look back on and remember. We can only prepare so much, the rest is up to God.