Editor’s Note: Choosing your prepper group is one that takes careful thought and consideration. On one hand, you know there is power in numbers, but it is paramount that you choose wisely for in a SHTF event, you are stuck with them – for better or for worse.
One of the possible obstacles we may face in a prepper group is a betrayal. While this is not a welcomed situation to arise, it can happen – and trust between members can be irrevocably damaged. This is part of being mentally prepared to press on and this article will give you essential tips on how to get through a deeply felt betrayal.
Understand that you do not have to forgive unconditionally: you have to forgive if the person is repentant about the offense they’ve committed against you. That does not mean you have to have a tearful, slobbering embrace and welcome them back with open arms. We live in an era that when politicians and religious figureheads blubber on TV and claim to be sorry, that is taken to be “genuine.” What about those who are supposed to be “sharing your foxhole” with you? Most of the time it’s lip service. If they are involved with you past your normal vetting procedure? Chances are they know you and your family, as well as what supplies you have, etc.
So, what if you do have a “trusted ally” who all of a sudden goes “South” on you and betrays you in one way or another? You may have even depended on them for some type of contribution or support to your survival group/unit, in the form of money, material, or action (when the time arises). Let’s cover some guidelines when those who were supposed to be covering your back are stabbing you in it, and you need to cover your backside.
When it’s over, it’s over
If you wish to forgive them, that’s on you. It’s even more on you if you take them back in and they hurt you or others in your family or preparedness group even worse. Best thing to do is cut them loose. Give them back whatever they gave you, and send them packing. Don’t waste further time or energy with them.
No matter what form the betrayal comes in, it’s a betrayal
Plain and simple. If they screw you over on the small things, you can’t trust them on the larger things. Whether it is money, property, or a spouse or partner they are after is irrelevant. What do you think they’ll do after it hits the fan when there are no laws that can prevent them from going after what they want?
BDA (that’s Battle Damage Assessment)
You must assess how much damage has been done to you. What potential exists for more damage to be done to you by this person in the future? What do they know that they might be able to use against you, either with others of their ilk or something trumped up with the authorities? Do they know your layout of supplies and emergency procedures? Are they aware of your actions in a collapse or disaster, and the actions of those of your family? Do they know where you and/or family members work, bank, shop, frequent? Do they know your medical needs and your family’s weaknesses and strengths? You must reassess these and many other factors in order to figure out what damage is done by severing ties and what damage could be done in the future in Fisher-Price Land, or after the S hits the fan in a “Road Warrior” scenario.
“Nickel D to the Musk Oxen”
You must change the entire playbook and tighten up the screws on all of your procedures. Anything the Benedict Arnold and his brood may have been privy to, you must now change or eradicate completely. New passwords must be agreed upon; new radio freq.’s and call signs, new rally points, new near and far cache points. All of your supplies have to be moved or removed and hidden where they’re now in “parts unknown” to Benedict and his tribe.
“The seed never falls far from the tree”
Take this one to the bank. If the betrayer is cast out, then get rid of his family from your group along with them. They may play along with you for a while and denounce Benedict their dad or cousin. No matter. Blood is thicker than water. You keep them in with you? They’ll open the gates for Benedict and his group, and you will then be cast out [Note: if you haven’t done so, see the movie “Time of the Wolf”]
“What if they’re family, the betrayer?”
Not anymore: cut them loose and kick them out of the group. Immediate core family presents a special problem. What if mom betrays the group or dad? What about the kids? You have to live with them, but that doesn’t mean you have to include them in your plans for after it happens. Kids are different in that you are obligated to take care of them until they’re 18, and then they’re not a kid anymore (legally). The house that is divided does not stand, and your greatest foes can be those of your own family. But they’re human: if they betray once, they’ll do it again, as simple as that. Don’t allow “heartstrings” to turn into a garrote to throttle you.
“What if the betrayer is a “boss” or employer?”
Then find a new job as soon as possible. An employer that is part of a survival group who betrays you? He’ll try to play the part of the tyrannical warlord when it falls through. You give him your own pink slip and be done with him. Best option: don’t ever invite a boss into your midst and alleviate a battle for control that will arise.
Before it all comes to this, don’t let it come to this. Practice OPSEC with even the most “reliable” ally, remembering that all men have the capacity to betray and usually do. Don’t give up all of your sensitive information on your procedures and supplies. Form groups that may train together, but do not reveal what you have in your storehouse before a need arises, and even then, carefully consider what you’re doing.
Let an alliance be a loose confederation of like-minded people, yet avoid entangling alliances (George Washington). Train together on different survival tasks and agree on functions to help one another out, but be vigilant. The most trusted people in your lives can turn on you without batting an eye when the need arises if it is in their interests. If it happens before it hits the fan? You can bank on the fact that they will do much worse after it hits…if you allow it. Don’t allow it, and don’t be a victim or allow others in your family or group to be victims because of a poor decision. JJ out!
Additional Reading:
Creating a Prepper Group: How To Assess Family Members During a Crisis
Know Your Enemy: 9 Prepper Truths You Need for Defense Preparations
How To Prepare For Any Disaster
If You Don’t Know the Answers to These Questions, You Need to Work on Your Prepper Mindset
The Warrior Mentality: Controlled and Purposed Action in a Post Collapse Combat Situation
Outstanding message and much needed information ~ well done brother!
i told my mother she was dead to me, to never contact me again back in 2010. in 2014 she tried to friend me on facebook when i joined to help the ag club at school, i refused the friend request! i moved out of the united states and got married to a wonderful lady in 2015. got married on october 10 and dead to me mom died on november 2 of an anurisum and told the whole family, by way of my dad that i danced for joy when i got the news, brother and sisters are druggies so they are dead to me too. i have a habit of burning bridges really quick, so i dont have many friends .
best use of a back stabber is as fertilizer for a shade tree, liquid fertilizer that is!
Sad
only the courageous and strong can forgive. Its family, regardless. You don’t have to live with them. sheesh, you are weak.
tomtom read the comments by dave from san antonio and others. even the author of this article. it does not matter if the betrayer is related by blood or not, in my case one sister was arrested for cooking meth 3 times in 2 months and while in jail we cleaned out her apartment and i poured a batch down the sink. she got sentanced to 18 months in drug court and when she and her new friends went the last day to get their certificates they were supprised drug tested and back to jail and drug court for another 18 months. all the while i and my mother and stepfather raised her 8 year old daughter. another sister has smoked pot every day of her life since she was 14 years old, she is now 58 years old earlier this month and is trying to get medical pot legalised in arkansas because it would cure her cancer. and my brother had a grow operation in an old moving truck in the ozarks but was very proud of the FUCKING HUGE pot plant in his front yard! thus he spent $15,000 on the lawyer, i was owed 1/4 of that $15,000.
you are the weak one if you can not burn bridges that need to be burned. parents who do drugs in front of children and justify it by telling them it should be legalised just make more drug users that CAN NOT be trusted any farther than you can throw them after encasing in a ton of concrete. one sister has son in prison and forwards letters from him to his boyfriend in another prison there in arkansas because he can not write him in arkansas. my brother has 2 sons. geeesh what pieces of shit they both are. shit is used as fertilizer all over the world! the strong should not have to take care of the week if they do not want to.
ive got 10 years in prison under my belt and use to call jeffery disk sucking dahlmer a fucking child molester at every meal.the whole time i was on unit 8 at portage wisconson (super max) i was in other prisons too in other states and i was a MAN 24/7 every day i was there! i was not in for violent crimes or drugs or drug use. i did steal to feed my family when i was unable to work to feed them. did 2 1/2 years in max for crime my sister comited
good luck to you if you have blood relatives like mine!
You must also face the unpleasant idea…that the ‘betrayer’ might need to be executed. All of that, though, depends on any ‘rules’ your group has decided on…and yes…just like in ‘older times’, at sea, there were certain ‘laws or rules’ that governed unacceptable behavior. In a SHTF survival situation…there will be none of the usual methods to address this type of situation. A group ‘will’ have to decide, together, what punishments will be delivered to a group member, if they step outside ‘da rules’. If the behavior and/or betrayal risks the survival of the group…well…the group will have to make a decision…
You would almost have to run a prepper group like a 1%er club or street gang for it to work. Break internal rules of either of the latter and the punishment can be swift and in some cases permanent.
Also, if the person betrays another prepper group and is kicked out, don’t take them in. They’ll likely betray you too. As the saying goes, “once a cheater, always a cheater.”
I think a good idea for an article by some experts would be; how to eliminate these kinds of people before shtf. Like any kind of team or military unit, there is a testing period like preseason tryouts or basic training, used to weed out those unsuited to the group for one reason or another. Maybe we should come up with a plan for preppers. I don’t think I could execute a close family member, even if warranted. It would be better for me not to have to make that decision by knowing who to exclude well in advance. I could then make provisions for those “too close to fail”, sort of a prepper family welfare to handle these emotionally based preferred people outside the core group.
One simple rule I’ve come to follow is: You can’t trust prideful people. Prideful people will think of themselves first when things become difficult and will sacrifice you to save themselves. Thus, keep yourself from close relationships with prideful people and when the SHTF, you’ll only be surrounded by people who will take a bullet for you, rather than putting you in front of the firing squad to save their own @$$.
I agree 100%. If I am betrayed by anyone they will be put out and if they try any funny business after the fact, they may just get themselves shot. Everyone in your SOC, (Self Organized Collective) must know who the boss is.
In times of carnage there is no time for a Democratic discussion on the issues you face. Only those who you trust explicitly will be your confidants and tacticians. Don’t worry, you’ll soon find out who those individuals are you can trust to guard your back. You should only discuss tactics with them because too many mouths yapping can confuse the group.
How about getting rid of disqus, it is untrustworthy.
When will the TOUGH, DETERMINED Conservatives just say NO to their sworn enemies? the F.A.N.G.S are nothing if no one is using them ….. QUIT …. delete all data you have there …. They cannot sell YOUR data if none is there.
MAN UP and boycott the FANGS
Betrayal does not just happen in prepper groups. it can be done by powerful politicians too. Should we forgive them or should we prosecute them?
But what if a woman acts like a woman? Thanks for the comment. 🙂
I would not trust anyone who believes ” ALL _____ AND ______ PEOPLE ARE KILLERS AND RAPISTS”.